You can always say “well, why did you move 30 minutes away from your kids, if you cant drive or dont want to pay an uber.” I will admit the problem with an uber is, the kids probably cant ride alone, so he would have to get to your place to get them. My partner has his daughters every other weekend Friday until Sunday. Act like your requests for one are a way to control him? Although the courts normally award joint legal custody, the parent without physical custody generally has a visitation schedule that is clearly defined. Is this allowable? (dating, how to, women) User Name: Remember Me: Password : Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! If former spouses want revenge, finding ways to spoil a visitation is easy. She has also tried to manipulate him into switching in the past telling him he’s a terrible father for not wanting to see his children more often and then letting it slip in that the real reason she is telling him this is that she’s planning to go away for her weekend and needs him to take the kids (this text exchange was on a Thursday evening when she wanted him to take the kids the next day). What should I do? Any help would be greatly appreciated. If you cannot afford an attorney, you should consult your state’s bar association for help locating low- or no-cost legal services. Why Contain Your Emotions This Christmas. The Petition For Contempt brings to the court’s attention your ex’s failure to follow the Court’s orders regarding visitation, and asks the Court to punish her for her violation. My ex-wife has a history of denying me access to our children, and the only thing that our family court judge ever does is to lecture my ex-wife and tell her that she ‘will be’ in contempt of court if she does not stop denying me access to our children. How is protecting the interest of the child? Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window). Attorney services are provided by licensed attorneys in every state where Cordell & Cordell offices are located. How can we sort this? Issue your ex a “credit” (put it in writing), for the time slot he or she is changing for you, in exchange for a time he or she may want from you in the future. It’s time to get your best negotiation and diplomacy skills in order. Stay out of it and stop being judgemental of the ex wife. I need help and cannot afford any. He works in retail, and works shifts. Therefore, the ex wife does not feel she owes them anything. I have been seperated from her for several years and we were ordered to follow the Indiana parent time guidelines (iptg). Ex expects me to change visitation to suit him. She even told him he couldn’t take the children on one of her Sundays for his mother’s birthday party because according to her “she didn’t owe him any favors” and he “didn’t ask nicely enough”. Please read my comment to a positive way. i’m at my wits end and to the dad’s here i’m sorry some women behave this way. Changing Visitation Schedules. Although the courts normally award joint legal custody, the parent without physical custody generally has a visitation schedule … If you find yourself flying off the handle, get help: therapy, meditation, exercise, journaling, etc. Just support your husband in whatever he chooses to do and listen when he vents. I said I wasn’t sure what I had planned with the kids. ... Once you and your ex-wife design and implement the visitation schedule, avoid “surprise visits,” mysterious deliveries of toys or clothes, and manipulating your children with gifts their mother cannot afford. In fact, the subtle ways work best, because even a savvy child, who might recognize (and better deal with) blatant alienation, will not recognize more subtle forms.-----Should you have joint or sole custody? In this article you will find real, tangible ways to collect evidence against the alienating parent, who is, in fact, inflicting real emotional abuse on your child. My X shows up only when and where she wants to. And repeat this mantra: what my ex thinks about me is none of my business. What’s the best way to handle this? 9. NOW she tells me that my next weekday visit I have to meet them at the mall and not leave the property (this is documented via email)??? [b]Parental alienation is KIDNAPPING[/b]…see [b]www.AChildsRights.org[/b] and [b]www.WheresDADDY.org[/b] for more information. That’s your weekend, but it would be really nice if the boys could come.” Compare that to her manipulations and lies (she told him on one other occasion when she wanted to switch weekends that if he didn’t take the kids, he would ruin her Christmas (the trip was in early January) and her husband would have to cancel his plane ticket, when in fact, they drove to the vacation spot, as was clear when they sent pictures to the children and their car was parked in front of the lodge). He would have to pay an uber 50$. Unless your visitation order states this, you are generally not required to take the children to practices or games or birthday parties or anything else that she has scheduled on your visitation time. It take two for a marriage to work. She did. You can say “take an uber” Interference with visitation can come in several forms. So far, my ex has worked on the weekends that he has visitation. Asking for some advice as we aren’t sure where we stand. He said to her “we’re having a party for my mother on September 25th. If you’re using a barter system, be certain you honor your “credit.” Also, don’t ask to trade too often. Let’s assume you’re pretty constant and stay with the standard schedule–but at times ask to change visitation and your ex won’t “give”. Lisa Karges, Florida Resident Partner - Tampa, FL. It takes a lot of work for two parents to get to the point where they can say their co-parenting relationship is going really well. I don’t know what to do. If she tries to bring the kids into, your dad wont let you. Judges and lawyers laugh at us saying, “If she isn’t feeding the baby crack, it’s fine. Why is everything thrown into the non-custodial parents laps? If she hates the ex, the kids must too. Few things are more frustrating than having to fight with an ex just to see your kids." I recently purchased plane tickets and had to extend one day due to cost. On a side note, I find it interesting that prosecutors will quickly and easily go after someone who does not pay child support (which mine is current, as always), but they will do nothing to enforce visitation. Another form of visitation interference is anything that reduces the quality or quantity of the time you spend with your children. Erik H. Carter is a Senior Attorney of the Cordell & Cordell, P.C. Talk to your spouse, he needs to address the issue and stop allowing her to do it. A frequent contributor to Divorce Magazine and a former member of Divorce Magazine‘s Advisory Board, Ms. Phillips is a seasoned family law attorney whose practice has run the gamut from high profile clients to representing the interests of women and men in the political arena both on a local and federal level. If you have a schedule in place, implemented informally or by the courts, stick to it. Respectful correspondence is a great start–assertive is fine; aggressive is not. You can use Custody X Change to create several different visitation plans for your ex to review. If you agreed to come into terms about visitation on holidays, our sample Holiday Visitation Template could be ideal to give you an informative outline of your visitation schedule. of course the child is generally manipulated or coerced to not want to see the father…..what can be done when the mothers make this claim? The standard court order for many joint legal custody arrangements typically calls for the non-custodial parent to have custody of the child every other weekend, one-night mid-week, alternate holiday periods, and two to six weeks out of the summer. Very often, the courts will attempt to help the parent who wants more flexibility because their job requires it. Don’t encourage negativity. After all, you are a step parent. What can I do. I don’t know how to break this deadlock. And can work anything from 5am to 9pm. He threatens me with lowering his support constantly. Plan family events, special occasions, outings and other events on your weekends and times. There is history that you may not be aware of. He has not sent me the information and we are in mid November. Continue reaching out. I believe her reasoning is either the fact that I’m involved with another woman who I recently felt confident enough to involve in my son’s life or the fact that the mother is bipolar and currently on no meds or attends no counseling (and I don’t say this to discredit the mother, however it is diagnosed and relevant). instead of a cab etc. Don’t chop and change, it could be held against you in future proceedings. Compromise when appropriate. Most importantly, practice what you preach. 4. My X had abducted my son and held him hostage for 172 days (without any communications, visitations, birthdays, holidays, etc). 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